I don't know whether to talk about Gettysburg or the fact that vorizon sucks the biggest pile of horseshit this side of the Rockies.
First Gettysburg - inspirational, educational, breathtaking and heartbreaking. The south sucked. I'd lean toward the fact that they still suck, but, there are some people below the mason dixon line that I'd toss a glass of water at if they were on fire....
However, being in Gettysburg, which resides smack dab in the middle of Pennsylvania could have been out in the middle of the great plains states for all it has in common with the rest of the megaglopolis of the east coast. These people even talk with an accent. And the clothes of the locals...well, the only word to describe it is tragic. And, everyone smokes. I saw one guy riding a motorcycle with his rifle strapped to the side. Am I to believe he's hunting...??? on his motorcycle?????
Most of the wine from PA vineyards is pure swill. We were hard pressed (haha, like the grapes, oh, I crack myself up sometimes) to find anything that wasn't cloyingly sweet. Most of the merlots, pinots and cabs all tasted like they wanted to be ports when they grow up. And the mead??!!! Don't drink the mead! No wonder the vikings were pissed and trying to leave norway all the time. Mead, made from fermented honey tastes like honey with everclear in it. With macerated bee wings tossed in for good measure.
End of the day, Gettysburg was magnificent. It breaks my heart and dampens my soul to know that after 150 years, that battle still seems like it may have been in vain. Too many people either still fighting that war, still angry they lost, or not prepared to accept the responsibility of teaching others what the victory was supposed to mean.
And then there's vorizon. Devil's spawn. I have that whole verizon triple screw you package - phone, internet and television. I wanted to have one of the tv boxes moved from one room to another. I wanted to schedule an appointment but they are ill prepared to actually schedule appointments. What a racket. You need them....they'll come when they are damn good and ready. Set the appointment in the agreed upon 4 hour window of opportunity. They can land the damn shuttle with a smaller window of opportunity than a fios dude can make a house call. What bullshit.... At 4:45, 15 minutes before that window slammed shut, I called to ascertain where my shuttle...ah...service technician was. I got the first human at 5:10pm. I was then passed to several other departments. Each department has a copy of the same script...'oh, I don't know how or why you were transferred to this department, this isn't the fuck you up the ass department at all, that's what you want, I'll connect you'. Marianne (my mother, visiting from florida, a whole other story..) asked me where the vorizon office was located. "Mars", was my response.
Apparently, the service ticket was written incorrectly. You'd think they'd phone. After all, when I scheduled the appointment, no less than 3 different people asked my phone number. With all the technology they profess to have at their fingertips, isn't it amazing that they have to ask your phone number when you call...that it doesn't appear on the work screen in front of them. I'm little more than joe blow from windy city and even I have caller ID.
At 5:45 it was clear to all players involved that no one was coming to hook me up today. An hour to agree that I wasn't going to get a visit between 1-5pm. Geniuses, the lot of them. Fine...lost time from work, blah blah blah...set me up again, this time I want a scheduled appointment for tomorrow, 8am. More interminable hold. Only this time, I've finally got a superivsor dealing with me, so the hold is of a better quality. I don't have to be subjected to elevator music on crack.
What I do get is this: I can have a technician tomorrow between the hours of 8am and 5pm....and get this...because they are doing me a favour by squeezing me in. Oh yes, indeed...they were going to do me a big favour. Thanks for the lube, vorizon, that's a big favour, all right. Not only did I waste the 4 hours waiting for a monkey with a wrench, but add on the almost 2 spent on the phone with the monkey with the keyboard, now they wanted to add another 9 hours of 'wait and see' . I wonder if I can say, the next time a vorizon bill comes 'sorry, the bill arrived upside down in my mailbox, so it will be deleted from my records, try again next month'....I wonder how that would go.
"Doing me a favour??" I was incredulous, and that incredulty bore repeating, several times. The whole squeezing me in was really the undoing. I am fully prepared to unplug everythign that has a vorizon tag on it and send it back. If I have to stand on my roof top sending smoke signals to communicate with people I'd do it, if just to get the vorizon monkey off my back.
Don't do me any favours, put me in for thursday, 8-12. I better be first or you're going to find your boxes hanging from the chimney.
You cannot make this shit up.
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